Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional past times than spending all day indoors.

Computers have revolutionized the way we learn, travel, work and socialize. Advancement of technology in
this
domain has given birth to smartphones, tablets, mp3 players and other gadgets that are not only a great source of entertainment but are instrumental in fetching valuable information. One cannot imagine living without them in
this
modern era. People believe that children are getting more dependent on these electronic devices which are alarming and we should persuade them to participate in other outdoor physical activities. Though
this
move is
laudable but
Accept comma addition
laudable, but
I don't agree fully.
This
essay will
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
the merits of both views before presenting an opinion. People believe that the young one of the society should take part in physical sports. Proponents of
this
viewpoint say that physical activities make them mentally strong and physically fit. Playing sports and different games are instrumental in learning the art of teamwork, develops skills vital for competitions and nourish their leadership qualities.
Moreover
, it develops their stamina, improves metabolism, sharpens their reflexes and brace them to face everyday life challenges. It has been medically proven that the rays emitting from these electronic devices are not good for human vision.
Furthermore
, one can truly enjoy the game by playing it physically.
For instance
, football, the game is different on the field where it requires stamina and passion compared to a few mouse clicks over the computer. Apart from that, it helps people to socialize, a trend missing in our present generation.
On the contrary
, electronic gadgets like computers, notebooks, smartphones,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
play an important role to improve the mental abilities and
intellectuality
of a child if used wisely. Children can play different mind games that improve their thinking power, decision-making skills, and harness creativity and innovation.
Moreover
, physical games and entertainment can lead to harmful injuries which can be fatal.
For instance
, parents in Karachi usually prefer their children to spend time at home due to fear of terrorism and abduction for ransom. To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments for both views.
However
, I personally believe that both computers and physical activities are of equal importance and one should focus on maintaining the right balance and getting positive outcomes.
Submitted by rampal110 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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