IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

With the increased global demands in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

#demands #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources
Over the centuries, having devised various benefits to increase productivity and satisfaction of employees, most corporations offer holidays for
this
. According to the statement above, some people think at least 28 days of holidays should be provided. I strongly support them because workers need to refresh themselves and the period of
time
 is long enough for
this
. Taking
time
 for oneself and with family is essential for people since it motivates people to be more diligent and lively. Due to the heavy loads of work, employees must be fatigued and exhausted and the state hinders them to concentrate on their tasks. Many people, like me, are encouraged by going on a trip or visiting their family and those things are available for the holidays given by companies.
For example
, I prefer to use the holidays at once or twice because I enjoy to travel to foreign countries and meeting new people and visiting exotic places is the way I release stress.
Furthermore
, four weeks is an adequate period of
time
 for holidays or vacation as it does not include sick days or personal days. If it includes them, those might find it insufficient and use it with reluctance as worrying about the unexpected future; they could be sick or they might need to take a day off due to parents’ health.
However
, the four weeks’ holiday mentioned in the statement is only for their rest and
that is
 the reason why I insist that 28 days is a great number of breaks to develop outputs at work. In conclusion, I completely agree with the remark since for the amount of
time
 many people can recover their energy by going on vacations, spending their personal
time
 and so on.
Submitted by irenecanada18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: