IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #impact #people’s #lives
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In recent times, the
media
Use synonyms
 and its offshoots are playing a vital role in everyone’s life. Because of
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
widespread criticism that states the role of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 being telecasted
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 television or shared
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 seems to be demoralising and
carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
 little
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 I concede to
this
Linking Words
 belief about the maligning impacts of commercials, I have some reservations
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 completely banning those.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we have been acclimated to watching
advertisements
Use synonyms
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more than 3 decades. Interestingly, the role of
media
Use synonyms
 has become enormously aggressive
such
Linking Words
 that most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 it annoys
people
Use synonyms
 when they are watching any interesting content on television or in any electronic gadgets.
For example
Linking Words
, there are multiple brands of shampoos and hair dyes being endorsed by various film fraternities. It is a regrettable fact that being a social icon, the celebrities support
such
Linking Words
products
Use synonyms
 without assessing the ill nature of the additives present.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 start to use these
products
Use synonyms
, it leads to skin irritation and rashes
instead
Linking Words
 of giving the promised outcomes. Having said that, are
advertisements
Use synonyms
 really behove to the benefit of
people
Use synonyms
? If it does so, it would not need any sort of endorsement to be made in the
media
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there are no
such
Linking Words
 posters made for buying food from any established food outlets
such
Linking Words
 as McDonalds or KFC.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should not fall into the trap of buying those advertised
products
Use synonyms
 without weighing their health or skin compatibility with those chemicals.
However
Linking Words
, if any, of the
products
Use synonyms
 are supported by the government or any civic societies,
then
Linking Words
 we can buy those
products
Use synonyms
 after careful consideration. To recapitulate,
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are made only to reap revenues by hoodwinking unbelievable benefits to the layman. It is our imperative responsibility to examine the
advertisements
Use synonyms
 before deciding whether to buy the product or not.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I agree that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are always deceptive to consumers and
people
Use synonyms
 should not fall into their traps.

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task achievement
Improve task achievement by addressing the prompt more directly and providing a balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen coherence by organizing ideas more effectively and using cohesive devices to link the ideas together.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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