IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern Lifestyle mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much as attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyle #parents #time #children #attention
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the passage of
time
Use synonyms
, there have been
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of changes in the lifestyles of people. In the past, parents
use
Suggestion
used
 to pay
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of attention towards their children.
However
Linking Words
, as Individuals are getting
use
Suggestion
used
 to the modern, parents are unable to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their children as much as they use to.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why parents should start paying more attention to their children. To initiate with, most of the married people these days are working couples. After
long hectic day
Suggestion
a long hectic day
 at work, they come home and relax. Sometimes, they have to work overtime to meet the deadlines set by the company.
As a result
Linking Words
, parents are unable to give
time
Use synonyms
 to their children.
Hence
Linking Words
, children’s are not getting the right guidance from their parents,
Linking Words
this
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
thus
 making them
demotivated
Suggestion
.
Also
Linking Words
, to reach the targets given by the bosses, parents sometimes have to travel abroad and meet multiple clients at the same
time
Use synonyms
. When they come back from work, children are already asleep by that
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 leaves them hardly any
time
Use synonyms
 in the morning, before children go to school. Due to
this
Linking Words
, more and more children are getting away from parents and finding shelter in
drugs
Suggestion
drug
 addiction. To conclude with, Even though parents don’t have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to share with children, they should try to take out
time
Use synonyms
 to understand and get close to them as much as possible. In my opinion, children are as holy as
god
benefit
good
 and as pure as
bible
Suggestion
a bible
the bible
,
hence
Linking Words
, they should not be neglected.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: