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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram shows a quite significant increase and variated numbers of university
graduates
Use synonyms
 in Canada, between males and females from 1992 to 2006. As seen in the series, the amount of
women
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 had always been higher than
men
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all given times.
To begin
Linking Words
, from 1992 to 1999 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both males and females was very stable. There was the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 that had completed university in 1992 and 2000. With a total of 100.000 for female
graduates
Use synonyms
 and 70.000 for male
graduates
Use synonyms
. By the year 1992 to 1994, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 that completed higher education had slightly climbed.
However
Linking Words
, later on, in 1996 there was a mild decrease in both
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by the
next
Linking Words
 three years. But since
then
Linking Words
, the graph had considerably risen with the comeback of an upward trend. Meanwhile, from 2000 until 2006, the line encountered an advance escalation. As for
men
Use synonyms
, in 2000, there was only around 70.000 scholar.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in 2006, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 had been going up to approximately 95.000. The same condition
also
Linking Words
 seemingly happened to
women
Use synonyms
. In 2006, the total of
graduates
Use synonyms
 had approached 150.000 from just 100.000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of college students who got their degrees in both genders rose significantly
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the past 15 years. In conclusion, It illustrated that there was an immeasurable presence of mind in Canada to accomplish
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher education from 1992 to 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, women, men, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
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