IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays children are being encouraged to use computers and digital media to enhance their learning. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of this concept

#children #computers #media #concept
These days, use of smartphone devices has become predominant in our community and that too it entered as a boon in our society. It has the ability to conquer the minds of young kids and has been playing a vital role in increasing the knowledge of children who will be the future of our nation.
This
 essay will
further
 discuss the advantages and disadvantages of electronic devices. Smartphones will help the kids to gain additional knowledge on subject’s related activities
such
 as scientific videos, art & craft activities, improving English grammar and vocabulary. Electronic devices will give the kids an exposure to various educational games
such
 as puzzles, games pertaining to calculations and
history
Suggestion
the history
 of the nation etc. It can
also
 be used for entertainment
purpose
Accept comma addition
purpose, for
for instance
 playing car racing, Sudoku, harry potter etc.
Smartphone
Suggestion
The smartphone
A smartphone
 will lessen the physical activity of
kids
Suggestion
the kids
 as they will become more addicted to the devices rather than being independent. Children can become laid back in terms of thinking and may refer the websites and search for solutions in spite of framing their own answers. Conclusion To conclude that, it is important for the kids to maintain a balance between the regular day to day activities and simultaneously enhancing their knowledge through the web.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • multimedia content
  • flexible and comprehensive education
  • interactive learning
  • knowledge retention
  • over-reliance
  • traditional learning skills
  • screen time
  • health impacts
  • cybersecurity risks
  • digital divide
  • inappropriate content
  • supervised learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: