Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects

These days, addition of Physical Education as a subject in academic

curriculum

is increasingly popular amongst schools. While some people argue that it is necessary to include Physical Education in

curriculum

Suggestion

the curriculum

of all schools, others believe that children should focus on their academics

instead

of sports and activities.

This

essay will examine both viewpoints related to Physical Education and changes to the school

curriculum

regarding its inclusion.

To begin

with, I think that Physical Education has a significant role in today’s schools.

Firstly

, Physical Education promotes mental and physical fitness, as participating in different sports helps in improving mind-body coordination.

Moreover

, it decreases the risk of heart ailments, which is becoming more common amongst people these days, as physical activities have a

good

Suggestion

better

effect on

cardiovascular system

Suggestion

the cardiovascular system

In addition

, taking part in sports

also

serves as a hobby for many. It acts as a recreational activity for students, which can be taken forward as a professional career in the future.

However

, the view that children should focus more on academics is

also

plausible. Sometimes, students focus more

on sports

Accept comma addition

on, sports

than they should which may lead students to fail in their academic subjects.

Also

, adrenaline levels are much higher while performing physically demanding activities, which may lead to raging and sometimes physical aggression in between matches. To sum up, while some people believe that academics should be the main focus in schools, I think that the positives of including Physical Education in

curriculum

certainly overshadows

Suggestion

certainly overshadow

the negatives.

Therefore

, in my opinion, Physical Education should be included in the

curriculum

, as long as a balance is being maintained between academics and sports.

Submitted by mowavaw807 on Sat Nov 16 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists including painters, musicians, poets. However, other people think that is a waste of money for providing this assistance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. however some buyers are sceptical to this practice. discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

101.In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.