In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development?

There is an opinion that capital punishment should be

ordered

Verb problem

imposed on

show examples

those who are committing serious offences. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint as not all

convict

Correct subject-verb agreement

convicts

show examples

committ deliquency

Correct your spelling

commit delinquency

in the same

circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

show examples

and

this

Linking Words

point

required

Verb problem

needs

show examples

to be taken into account before

finalizing

Change the spelling

finalising

show examples

any verdict.

Although

Linking Words

every conviction is punishable before the law, the penalties should be differentiated based on certain factors.

Firstly

Linking Words

, what was the triggering incident of

actual

Correct article usage

the actual

show examples

crime would answer why that particular person

involved

Verb problem

was involved

show examples

in an unlawful act. To illustrate, there are many people who have offended in order to safeguard themselves from some dangers

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when they perceive threats to their life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, circumstantial

evidences

Fix the agreement mistake

evidence

show examples

Verb problem

is to

show examples

be collected and verified by

responsible

Correct article usage

the responsible

show examples

authorities to ensure a fair

judgement

Use the right word

judgment

show examples

Yet another reason why activists argue to stop the death penalty is that the act of killing is

repeating

Wrong verb form

repeated

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when punishing a criminal. Having

punished

Verb problem

been punished

show examples

this

Linking Words

manner,

rarely

Correct pronoun usage

it rarely

show examples

achieve

Correct subject-verb agreement

achieves

show examples

the actual intention of

this

Linking Words

punishment

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

this

Linking Words

spreads a wrong message to

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

that the killing

Correct pronoun usage

It is

show examples

a kind of preventive measure, which is accepted by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

By contrast

Linking Words

, it will be more productive

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

if convicts are rehabilitated and

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

them understand the mistakes they have

done

Verb problem

made

show examples

; eventually, they would become turn into

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

socially accepted

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who will assist both

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

and

people

Correct article usage

the people

show examples

in maintaining law and order in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In conclusion, even though people have different

consideration

Fix the agreement mistake

considerations

show examples

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

capital punishment is the best method to curb crimes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, I, personally, again reaffirm that

this

Linking Words

type of treatment may not reduce the crime rate.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, it is predicted that offenders

Verb problem

should be

show examples

counselled to reduce the chances of future crime

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

Sal

Nov 16, 2019

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structure

Begin with a clear view in one line and end with a short finish that repeats this view.

organization

Use one main idea in each paragraph and make the link to the next idea clear.

content

Give simple and real examples to back your point.

grammar

Fix bad spell and grammar, for example 'deliquency' and 'committ'. Check spell and form.

vocabulary

Use short words and short sentences. Keep the tone calm and sure.

content

The essay shows a clear view against the death penalty.

structure

You use words like 'Firstly' and 'To illustrate' to show your idea.

content

You link crime and rehab idea in a simple way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disposable income
leisure activity
retail therapy
local economies
fashion trends
peer pressure
social status
environmental impact
consumption
waste
materialistic
cultural activities
prominent
neglect
therapeutic
social media influence
boost
desire

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