In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Many people in some countries believe that encouraging teenagers to work or
tavel
change location; move, travel, or proceed, also metaphorically
travel
for a
year
after finishing high school studies could benefit their future plannings.
In
Suggestion
At
On
my points of views, there are persuasive reasons for both
side
Suggestion
sides
to discuss
this
issue in depth.
First
of all, the prime reason for having a
gap
year
may help youth
to discover
Suggestion
discover
their real interests. Take my friend Edwin
for example
, he was aiming to become a photographer after graduating from senior high school.
However
, after he went to Australia for one-
year
working holiday. He decided to become a
Barista
a British or Canadian lawyer who speaks in the higher courts of law on behalf of either the defense or prosecution
barrister
, and he owns a coffee shop now in Japan. Form
such
example it
Accept comma addition
example, it
demostrates
give an exhibition of to an interested audience
demonstrates
that
yough
second person pronoun; the person addressed
you
young
people could find their interests through having a
gap
year
working or
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
. Another reason for encouraging
youg
second person pronoun; the person addressed
you
generation to go overseas before starting university studies is that youth can improve
languages
Suggestion
language
skiils
an ability that has been acquired by training
skills
by knowing friends from all over the world.
For instance
, my friend
Annie she
Accept comma addition
Annie, she
went to Japan while she was 19 years old. She met friends from China, Canada, Malaysia and Spain. She started to have
interests
Suggestion
an interest
interest
in learning Japanese,
spainish
the Romance language spoken in most of Spain and the countries colonized by Spain
Spanish
, and English.
Therefore
, now she can speak these languages fluently.
Consequently
, a
gap
year
experience did help her know more friends and learn different languages.
Nonerheless
Suggestion
Nonetheless
, there are some challenges for teenagers to travel or work for a
year
before university studies. They may not have enough knowledge about how to manage their money.
Moreover
, they may fall into gambling issues.
For example
, my friend Tony was invited to visit
casino
Suggestion
the casino
a casino
while he went working holiday in Melbourne. He spent all of
money
Suggestion
the money
he brought to
Melbourbe
the capital of Victoria state and 2nd largest Australian city; a financial and commercial center
Melbourne
,
moreover
, he borrowed from his friends for more than 1 million dollars. From
this
case, a
gap
year
adventure may
also
include some risks. There is not to say that encouraging youth to travel or work for a
year
right after graduating from high school is totally without merit.
Nevertheless
, both
side
Suggestion
sides
of parents and young students should
cosider
deem to be
consider
all the situations they may encounter during the adventure.
Submitted by jenny1126 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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