Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. What are your views?

In
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
few years, the
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
technology
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed very fast.
People
getting used to
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid and uncontrolled
technology
instead
of (some
people
believe
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
) manpower. On the other hand, it brings problems to our societies. I will consider these different points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
in favour to support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
. It has been argued that too much
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
technology
cause
people
losing
Change the verb form
to lose
show examples
their job. Nowadays, many factories are
useing
Correct your spelling
using
automatic
technology
instead
manpower
Correct word choice
of manpower
show examples
, in order to increase their business.
However
, It brings a huge problem of unemployment,
furthermore
, it would
increasing on
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
crimes
Change the noun form
crime
show examples
rate.
Similiy
Correct your spelling
Similarly
,
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
Morden
technology
speeds up our life.
people
feel
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
about their jobs, families, and societies. It is no doubt that
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
technology
deveoloped
Correct your spelling
developed
our life more
convenient
Change the word
conveniently
show examples
than before. For example, we
could keeping
Wrong verb form
can keep
show examples
in touch with our friends
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
live far away from us
pass
Verb problem
apply
show examples
through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Moreover
, companies could contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their customer
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. It’s much cheaper than calling
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
long-distance phone.
Besides
, the
technology
development could help medicine inventing.
Submitted by dipyoskfgi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: