These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

With increasingly developing
technologies modern
Accept comma addition
technologies, modern
children tend to spend their leisure
time
playing computer games rather than doing sports.
This
is explained by grabbing the attention of children
by
Suggestion
with
computers, phones and etc., while there is no occurrence of propaganda of sports. It will hardly affect the health of children as well as the relationship and psychological state. With inventing computers and mobile phones, children's attention was grabbed by technologies. It is interesting to play Counter-Strike with friends rather than walk around
streets
Suggestion
the streets
.
Therefore
, more and more children began not to go out, but to play in the virtual
world
.
Moreover
, there
are
Suggestion
is
lack of propaganda of sports in the
world
, so that children prefer to play games, sport is not interesting to them.
Consequently
, children were faced by unexpected implications of
such
an approach. Playing games
instead
of doing sports may significantly affect the human body.
First
and foremost, children’s visual apparatus will be damaged. There is a tendency among children to wear spectacles, because of the continuous
time
spent at the computer.
Secondly
, there is a probability to get a curvature of the spine.
Commonly children
Accept comma addition
Commonly, children
are bending over while playing games, that will lead to scoliosis, lordosis and kyphosis.
Thirdly
, electromagnetic waves of gadgets will definitely effect on
human brain
Suggestion
the human brain
, that will
consequently
lead to weakness, fragility and dizziness.
However
, spend
time
at the computer will not only affect the health of a child, but
also
affect the surroundings and mental state of a child. By playing games most of their
time
, children may forget about the real
world
and may have started to depend on the virtual
world
.
This
may lead to social isolation of the children and do not
accepting
Suggestion
accept
the real
world
.
Furthermore
, children may become angry and anxious,
therefore
the relationships with parents will be damaged. In summary, technology became an important part of our lives, that may affect the health and psychological state of
children
Suggestion
the children
. That was occurred by grabbing the attention of children by gadgets and lack of propaganda of sports.
Submitted by krutoman731 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: