IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does the shortage of fresh water cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

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The global
scarcity
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 of fresh
water
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 is emerging as a critical issue with far-reaching consequences, posing multifaceted challenges that necessitate immediate attention.
This
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 essay explores the problems arising from the
shortage
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 of fresh
water
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 and proposes measures to mitigate these issues.
Firstly
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, the
shortage
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 of fresh
water
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 engenders severe ecological ramifications. Depleted
water
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 sources disrupt aquatic ecosystems, leading to the loss of biodiversity and habitat degradation. Aquatic species, including fish and other organisms, face the threat of extinction
due to
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 altered
water
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 flow patterns and reduced
water
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 levels.
Moreover
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, ecosystems dependent on freshwater,
such
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 as wetlands and marshes, experience degradation, impacting their ability to provide essential services like
water
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 purification and flood control.
Secondly
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, the
shortage
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 of fresh
water
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 poses significant threats to human populations. Insufficient access to clean
water
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 jeopardizes public health, leading to waterborne diseases like cholera and dysentery. In many regions, communities are forced to rely on contaminated
water
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 sources, exacerbating the risk of epidemics.
Furthermore
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,
water
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scarcity
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 hampers agricultural productivity, contributing to food insecurity. As agriculture is a
water
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-intensive activity, reduced
water
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 availability results in diminished crop yields, perpetuating the cycle of poverty and malnutrition. To address these challenges, several measures can be implemented. Investment in sustainable
water
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 management practices,
such
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 as rainwater harvesting and
water
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 recycling, can augment the available
water
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 supply.
Additionally
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, the adoption of
water
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-efficient technologies in agriculture and industry can optimize
water
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 usage. International collaboration is crucial, with countries sharing best practices and technologies to address
water
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scarcity
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 collectively.
Furthermore
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, raising awareness about
water
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 conservation and implementing strict
water
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-use regulations can foster a culture of responsible
water
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 consumption. In conclusion, the
shortage
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 of fresh
water
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 poses interconnected challenges to ecosystems and human societies. Implementing sustainable
water
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 management practices, technological innovations, and international cooperation are vital steps in addressing the multifaceted problems associated with
water
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scarcity
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.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on specific examples or case studies to make your points even more persuasive. For instance, mentioning specific regions or incidents where water scarcity has had critical impacts would enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay's structure is strong, consider using more varied transitional phrases to further improve the flow of ideas. This will help maintain the reader's interest and make your arguments even more compelling.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering both the problems caused by water scarcity and proposing effective measures to overcome them.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly outlining the topic and summarizing the key points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with logical reasoning and detailed explanations, which strengthen the arguments presented.
task achievement
Ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively, making the essay easy to follow.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water scarcity
  • irrigation
  • contaminated
  • waterborne diseases
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • pandemics
  • economic downturn
  • social unrest
  • food security
  • resource management
  • conservation efforts
  • sustainable
  • desalination
  • rainwater harvesting
What to do next:
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