In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Effective
upbringing
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in childhood is an essential part of everybody because that point is decisive moment of life that influence the future. Poor
upbringing
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is
lead
Suggestion
led
to commit crimes,
therefore
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in many countries, jail is the most common solution of crimes.
However
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, receiving a better education in the
first
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years is considered to be the most effective
way
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to prevent committing crimes. In
this
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essay solutions of preventing crimes will be discussed. One of the solutions of decreasing
crime
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rates is sending
convicted
Suggestion
convicts
to prison.
This
Linking Words
action may serve as an example to those who are planning to commit crimes.
Moreover
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, prison conditions in most countries are not habitable,
therefore
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criminal may take
this
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into consideration and reject the idea of stealing or killing people.
However
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, most people who came out of prison often continuing doing actions what they did before and
this
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method is an ineffective
way
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to prevent crimes. Providing a
child
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with a better education is an effective
way
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to reduce
crime
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rates. When the
child
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is receiving an effective
upbringing
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this
Linking Words
will lead to better citizens that will never commit a
crime
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.
Furthermore
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, if a
child
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is surrounded with love and peace, he/she will never think about robbing a bank or killing people.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to give a
child
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a better
upbringing
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in
earliest
Suggestion
the early
the earlier
earlier
years to be sure that in the
future he
Accept comma addition
future, he
/she may be
work
Suggestion
working
for developing his/her country. It is
also
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important for government to provide prisoners with better conditions for rehabilitation. The reason is that
this
Linking Words
may lead to that prisoners may never commit crimes,
consequently
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this
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action may be a reason of decreasing
crime
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rates.
For instance
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, in Prison Bastoy, Norway, prisoners are living in wooden cottages on the beach and they spend their time riding horses, sunbathing in the sun, fishing and playing tennis.
Accordingly
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, in
this
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country the lowest
crime
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rate from all of the world. In summary, prisons
is
Suggestion
are
one of the ways to reduce
crime
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rates, but not as effective as providing children with better education in childhood.
Moreover
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, it is
also
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important to provide prisoners with conditions that may change the
way
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that they think.
Submitted by krutoman731 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • moral understanding
  • punitive measures
  • root causes
  • recidivism
  • socioeconomic factors
  • deter criminals
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social integration
  • maintenance
  • construction
  • traditional views
  • productive members
  • knowledge
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