Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The growth in the field of technology has seen a higher pace
from
the past few years when compared to Change preposition
in
the
earlier Correct article usage
apply
developments
. Well, talking about the greatest technological development
is the invention of the internet and Change the article
the smart
smart phone
which has changed the lifestyle of Correct your spelling
smartphone
people
. In my opinion, I do agree
the fact that earlier technological Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
developments
has
brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary Change the verb form
have
people
when compared to the recent ones.
To begin
with, the earlier prominent inventions are such
as telephones and televisions etc.
At
the initial stages of invention, they were only available to the affluent and as the years Change preposition
In
pass
by Wrong verb form
passed
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
was
available to everyone. These inventions made a Verb problem
became
persons
life easier as they could communicate with one another easily through just a call Change to a genitive case
person's
instead
of writing letters and waiting for the other persons
reply for a week. These Change noun form
person's
are
inventions are neither harmful Unnecessary verb
apply
for
the environment nor the society.
Even thoughChange the preposition
to
,
the most recent Remove the comma
apply
developments
such
as the
smartphonesCorrect article usage
apply
has
changed the lives of ordinary Change the verb form
have
people
that is
with this
we can know what is happening all around the world. The negative effects of Correct pronoun usage
apply
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
overweights
with its positive effects.Some of the disadvantages are the Change the verb form
overweight
radiations
generated through Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
the
Correct article usage
apply
smart phones
causes diseases like cancer,brain Correct your spelling
smartphones
tumour
etc. For humans and Fix the agreement mistake
tumours
also
affects the animalsRephrase
apply
also
. In addition
to these
the most latest updating to these smartphones are increasing their camera quality and launching it as a new edition. Out of 10 hardly 4 Add a comma
these,
people
know about the complete features and usage of the smartphone the remaining 6 only use it for communication or browsing the net. Without knowing the usage what is the use of such
development
in the technological.
I would like to conclude
that the earlier development
has made the life of an ordinary man easier,
but has never caused any harm to Remove the comma
apply
the
society and humans. But the recent Correct article usage
apply
developments
are neither useful for the development
for
Change preposition
of
the
society nor the environment. Correct article usage
apply
Instead
of such
devleopments
if they would develop something which would help in conserving the Correct your spelling
developments
development
Correct your spelling
environment
envirionment
would be a useful Correct your spelling
environment
development
Submitted by niveditac98 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Task Response: The essay fails to thoroughly address the prompt, lacking a nuanced discussion of earlier and recent technological developments. The nuances and implications of both eras should be further explored.
coherence cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat disjointed, with ideas not flowing smoothly from one to the next. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed to provide a stronger frame for the essay. The main points are somewhat supported, but the lack of clear and effective connections between ideas hinders the overall coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
