IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries
Introduction: Recently, there has been many opinions say that due to our inability to help everyone in other countries, we should only take care of our own communities and countries.
However
, I do not agree with
this
 view and think that we should devote ourselves to help as many people as possible.
Firstly
, despite our thoughts, help is being needed in many nations and cities in the word.
For instance
, in these years, many countries have been struggling with various severe problems
such
 as poverty, starving people, contaminated water sources and more.
However
, with the problems being worse and worse due to climate change, lack of financial resources, governments in these countries are slowly losing their control over the issues.
Therefore
, support from the international communities is greatly required for these countries. Being the ones who have better living conditions, it is our responsibility to provide help for these people.
Secondly
, helping others can come from simple and little actions that will not make us any difficult to do. Specifically, it can be small donations of money gained from saving daily costs, sending clothes that we no longer wear to the needy or even take part in some small
voluntary
Suggestion
volunteer
 events.
Although
this
 does not seem much for a volunteer, if everyone in a community realizes
this
 and together join the activities, it can create unexpected results that would be really meaningful to those countries or communities that receive the support. Conclusion:
Last
 but not least,
although
 it is impossible for one to help solving problems all over the world, the miracle can be created if we believe and together create the changes.
Submitted by sinhvatmanma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: