In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #crime #teenagers #people #age #adult #punishment

The

punisment

the act of punishing

punishment

of a

crime

should depend on some factors. Those factors can be specified as the

crime

itself, and the age of the criminal.

First

of all, the punishment would help to prevent a teenager from committing the

crime

. Punishment would make a kind of fear of the result of an action; as a matter of

fact if

Accept comma addition

fact, if

teenager knew about the ultimate result of the

crime

they would forbid themselves to act like a criminal.

For example

, In Iran, if people kill someone while driving without the driving license, the highest penalty considered for them and

as a result

of that the young people under 18 which do not have driving license are not allowed to drive and are strongly controlled by their parents because the fear of punishment exists in families.

Secondly

, in my opinion, the age does not make sense in the embarrassing figure of the

crime

. It means

crime

is a

crime

and when someone committed that, no regret would be acceptable especially about major crimes.

For Instance

, when a murder takes place the victim would never have the chance of being alive anymore and in that case,

law

Suggestion

the law

should not be soft on

crime

despite how old the murderer was. In conclusion, juvenile

crime

is unexpectedly rising and some citizens argue that

teenager

Suggestion

teenagers

should be punished

Suggestion

the same as adults. As I debate two reasons which are mentioned

above I

Accept comma addition

above, I

totally believe that,

this

opinion might positively work.

Sat Nov 23 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The increasing presence of multinational companies and globalization is believed by some to have positive implications for everyone involved. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that going to a fitness centers regularly is unnecessary. Instead they believe the combining occasional exercise (such as going for walk) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree.