IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, most of the countries invest
on
Suggestion
in
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 which could develop
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
.
However
Linking Words
, whether improving
transportation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
system especially
Accept comma addition
system, especially
railway
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 has many benefits
.
Accept space
.
merits
Suggestion
Merits
is
Suggestion
are
 a moot point.
This
Linking Words
 essay aims to discuss the benefits are huge. For one thing, using
train
Suggestion
trains
instead
Linking Words
 of private cars or public buses could reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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. Hamidi
(
Accept space
(
2008) maintains that countries have developed
railway
Use synonyms
system
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 to encourage people use it which caused the rate of
air
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pollution
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 decreased by 20percent.
In addition
Linking Words
 to its developing electrical
railway
Use synonyms
 in these countries
lead
Suggestion
leads
 to declining usage of fossil fuels which affected rising
green house
a building with glass walls and roof; for the cultivation and exhibition of plants under controlled conditions
greenhouse
 gases directly.
However
Linking Words
,
railway
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system
Use synonyms
 could create
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pollution but
Accept comma addition
pollution, but
 its effects on global warming is less than
road
Suggestion
the road transportation system
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 by far particularly if it would transform to electronic
railway
Use synonyms
system
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. For another thing, most of the people used to travel or go to work by using road
transportation
Use synonyms
 vehicles as their costs
.
Accept space
.
As a matter of fact, improving technology and
people s
the human beings of a particular nation or community or ethnic group
peoples
 life style brings about most of people prefer to travel by
plain
having a surface without slope, tilt in which no part is higher or lower than another
plane
 or train.
Although
Linking Words
 the price of trains is
significant
Suggestion
significantly
 expensive than buses, it could be decreased if government invest
on
Suggestion
in
 reinforcing
railway
Use synonyms
system
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 which is rooted in its allocating more budget to reconstruction private and public part, attracting tourists. All in all, expanding
railway
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system
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 possesses lots of pros. As shown, not only could it decline
air
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pollution
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, but
also
Linking Words
 it is capable of improving tourism industry.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the most prudent of course of action for government would be preserved environment, improving tourism industry by preparing sufficient budget which could be provided better
railway
Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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