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Band 5.5

Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this. Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

#people #copy #magazines #tv #idea
Crime
 is a big problem all over the world and there are many different opinions on the best way to reduce
crime
. The traditional solution is to punish the criminals by putting them in prison. It has been seen that when criminals are set free from prison,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of them
re-offend
. In the following paragraphs, I shall suggest some causes of
this
 phenomenon and suggest some solutions.
To begin
 with, in traditional prisons, people learn a lot about
crime
 and so when they leave prison they tend to commit even more
crime
.
In other
words prisons
Accept comma addition
words, prisons
 act as universities of
crime
.
Secondly
, after being set
free some may
Suggestion
free, some may
 even want to lead a good and peaceful life, but
people
Suggestion
the people
 of the
community
 do not accept them and
as a result
 they don’t get any jobs. They are forced to
re-offend
 because they have to fulfil their basic needs.
Finally
, some may commit
crime
 again because they do not have the training or qualification to do any job. Many steps can be taken to minimize the gravity of the situation.
First
 of all, petty offenders like
shop-lifters
a thief who steals goods that are in a store
shoplifters
 and
pick-pockets
a thief who steals from the pockets or purses of others in public places
pickpockets
 should be given some vocational training and education. It is a well not fact that the basic causes of
crime
 are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment. So, if we provide education and job
training
Accept comma addition
training, then
then
 we would be removing the causes of
crime
. If criminals are rehabilitated by some form of
employment
Accept comma addition
employment, then
then
 they would certainly not
re-offend
.
Furthermore
,
community
 service
such
 as maintaining parks and doing some construction work can be taken from criminals
instead
 of just putting them into prisons. In
this
 way, they feel they are part of the
community
 and the
community
also
 starts accepting them. To put it in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that we should hate the
crime
 and not the criminal. To fight
crime we
Accept comma addition
crime, we
 should focus on the causes of
crime
. Education and job training help to rehabilitate the criminals. So, the focus should be on reforming the criminals so that they do not
re-offend
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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