IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #time #school #work
It is often thought by some people that children are given an ample amount of free
time
 and they believe that
this
time
 ought to be utilized for doing more
school
work
. I do not agree with
this
 view.
To begin
 with, I think children o
ught spend
Suggestion
ought to spend
their free
time
 playing games and other physical activities.
This
 is because they spend at least 6 to 8 hours at
school
 and are given too much homework after
school
 hours and they
also
 need to stay fit and healthy throughout the year in order to study and obtain good grades. To illustrate, recent studies conducted by the National Education Organisation revealed that children spending their free
time
 on physical activities along with
school
work
 acquired high grades compared to those spending all their
time
 on
school
work
.
Moreover
, when they participate in games with other children at the playground, they get to meet different people with whom they can make friends and be stress-free. If children had to do
school
work
 in their free
time
, they would miss some crucial opportunities like making friends with other people and being healthy. There are other essential activities
such
 as yoga, and other essential classes which must be imparted to children. The reason for
this
 is that these activities enable them to gain knowledge in general knowledge which is a must in today's world.
For instance
, many studies disclose that children are likely to obtain vital knowledge when they are engaged in playing games and participating in other physical activities. If children allocate their free
time
 on physical games and other activities.If children allocate their free
time
 on physical games and other activities, they will definitely attain high grades and will be able to socialize with others later in their lives. In conclusion, even though children spending all of their
time
 on
school
work
 can enjoy some benefits, in my opinion, they can stay healthy and secure good grades and develop their communication skills with others in their lives if they spend their free
time
 on physical games and other activities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unstructured free time
  • creativity
  • mental health development
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • sports
  • arts
  • social skills
  • family time
  • emotional growth
  • relationship building
  • rest and leisure
  • academic performance
  • burnout
What to do next:
Look at other essays: