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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates a report of the distribution of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who visited four different tourist attraction spots in Britain during 1999. (21)
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
visitors
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 was the highest for
Theme
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Parks
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 and the lowest for Wildlife
Parks
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 and Zoos. In comparison, the proportion of
Theme
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Parks
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 was the highest at 38%. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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, almost 50% of total
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 saw Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The number of people who visited Alton Towers and Pleasureland in
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 recorded at 17% and 16% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, much fewer tourists, only 10% each, saw Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland in
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
Use synonyms
 of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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. For
Museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 and Galleries, the percentage of
visitors
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 remained slightly low as compared to
Theme
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Parks
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visitors
Use synonyms
 at 37%. The proportion of
visitors
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for
Change preposition
to
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 Historic Houses and Monuments was 16%
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure was surprisingly less, only 9%, for those who visited Wildlife
Parks
Use synonyms
 and Zoos. (130)
Thus
Linking Words
, Blackpool Pleasure Beach of
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
Use synonyms
 was the most popular tourist attraction spot in Britain in the year 1999. (20)

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, theme, parks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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