IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult do you agree or disagree

#accessibility #university
It is often to
said
Suggestion
say
 that, in the modern world higher
education
 on campus is more popular than before. Students who are in poor families or wealthy families have to face the same challenges to get
accessibility
Suggestion
access
 to university.
However
, students in rich families win that challenge rather than the poor. I disagree with about
topic
Suggestion
the topic
a topic
 and my views are as follows. Nowadays,
education
 can measure
money
. The reason for that every learning institution takes lots of
money
 to follow many courses of subjects.
For
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
 Sri Lanka child cannot
enter the
Accept comma addition
enter, the
 better schools without paying
money
 donations.
As a result
 of that, they could not have the best primary
education
 as well. If a child has not better knowledge, he or she cannot win the challenge which is entered for the campus. For
moreover
,
Child
Suggestion
the child
the Child
 who
come
Suggestion
comes
 from the poor background they do not have to use new technology.
For instance
, poor students do not know even how to use a computer and gather knowledge via the internet.
On the other hand
, students suffer about their poverty. They have to do some job
for
Suggestion
of
satisfy
Suggestion
satisfying
 their basic needs.
As a result
 of that, they
do not have do spend
Suggestion
don't spend
do not spend
have not spent
haven't spent
are not spending
aren't spending
 time and
money
 on
education
.
However
, poor students have to face many difficulties than rich students to get into university,
Furthermore
, poor learners not getting any chance to receive perfect infrastructure facilities as well. Because of that wealthy students can achieve successfully their goals. In conclusion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 disagree with that above scenario. In my view is the poor students should go through that
challenges
Suggestion
challenge
 with strengthening the mind to receive accessibility into the university.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: