Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development

Technology today has brought a radical change in the way human beings socialise. People these days prefer to spend most of their time online

instead

of spending it the old traditional way. According to me,

this

is a negative development as it not only impacts the physical

health

of human beings, but

also

puts them into isolation. One major drawback of socialising online is that its after effects on

health

can be hazardous. Individuals who constantly use online platforms usually complain about severe eye burning caused because of

strain

Suggestion

the strain

Also

, in some

cases they

Accept comma addition

cases, they

have reported about their eyesight getting poor.

Moreover

, these socialising applications are making people lazy as they prefer to stay at home

instead

of going out, which in turn makes them obese. A recent survey conducted by Indian Institute of Technology (Mumbai) revealed that individuals who stay connected through online platforms are more prone to get lifestyle diseases, impacting their visual ability and general

health

. Another negative impact of socialising online is that it is creating a huge communication gap between people, because of which they are getting isolated. They are getting less accustomed to meet their relatives and friends physically.

This

in turn is making them feel deprived of human touch, which makes them, feel alone. In some cases,

this

feeling of getting separated leads to mental illness and there is a greater risk of people getting depressed. One biggest proof of

this

is that in October 2018, Psychological department of

Los Angeles community hospital

Suggestion

a Los Angeles community hospital

the Los Angeles community hospital

revealed that the number of cases related to mental

health

increased substantially. When asked, most of the patients said that they spend most of their time on

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

and

instagram

. To conclude, though most of the human beings today are more interested in staying connected online,

this

practice has caused a detrimental impact on their well being. It has affected their physical

health

and put them in a cut off mode. And as stated earlier, I firmly believe,

this

is a negative development.

Submitted by udijaitly on Mon Nov 25 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

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Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

32.Some people say that art (e.g. painting, music, poetry) can be made by everyone whereas others believe that it can be only made by those with special ability. Discuss both views and give your opinion.