IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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It is believed by many that first-time law offenders and
people
Use synonyms
 involved in small crimes should work for
society
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 without any
monitory
Correct your spelling
monetary
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 gains rather than being incarcerated. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it will give
such
Linking Words
people
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 a
chance
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 to realize their
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
while
Linking Words
 living a respectable life and
society
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 will
also
Linking Words
 get benefitted as there will be more workforce available without any cost. First of all, doing community work for free gives a
chance
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 to a
person
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 to correct his/her mistake. Many feel regretful after doing
such
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 small criminal activities, which they did not intend to do in the first place. Working for
society
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 will give
such
Linking Words
people
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 a perfect
chance
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 to confess and rectify their mistakes.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in many societies, going to jail is considered wrong and disrespectful, so it gives a
chance
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 to the
person
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 to continue living a respectable life.
Lastly
Linking Words
, rehabilitation is more accessible when an individual is not in jail because it becomes easier for social activists to approach them and make them do activities which will divert their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 from crime and help them
in becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 a noble and responsible citizen.
In addition
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, it will be a great benefit to
society
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 as well, because there will be more workforce available without any cost. These
criminals
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 can serve in hospitals by taking care of the patients or in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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nursing
home
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homes
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 by taking care of older
people
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.
Moreover
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, there will be less requirement of jails and staff to look after them. As a result, government expenditure will be reduced significantly.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, putting
first time
Add a hyphen
first-time
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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 in jail may have adverse effects on them as they will be staying with other
criminals
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, who are
repeated
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repeat
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 offenders and have a criminal mindset. Staying with
such
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people
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 might influence new
criminals
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 or they me be forced to join hands with professional
criminals
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.
Moreover
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, being behind bars disconnects a
person
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 from family and
society
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, which may weaken them emotionally, and the
person
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 may not remain the same
what
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 he was in the past. In conclusion, everyone deserves a
chance
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 to correct his/her mistakes.
Criminals
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 too should be given a
chance
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 to realize and rectify their misdeeds by not
incarcerating
Correct pronoun usage
incarcerating them
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it should depend upon the severity of the crime and
criminal
Correct article usage
the criminal
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 history of the individual.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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