Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#wealth #guaranty #happiness

We are living in the materialistic world, where everyone is running after

money

by considering

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

sole reason of

happiness

This

is true to some

extent but

Accept comma addition

extent, but

we cannot associate

happiness

completely with wealth. Wealth is necessary to maintain the well being of humans on

this

planet and it is not easy to survive without having an ample amount of

money

in your

pocket but

Accept comma addition

pocket, but

it doesn’t guarantee the

happiness

; if

this

is the case

than

subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)

then

no one would ever be unhappy, who is rich.

Wealth

Suggestion

The wealth

brought

comfort but

Accept comma addition

comfort, but

not necessarily the joys of life. It reduces many problems from human lives;

firstly

, it makes people free from

burden

Suggestion

the burden

of earning if they have enough to survive in

this

world.

Secondly

, people can buy anything of their own choice which ultimately provides them

happiness

Finally

money

can help to live a disease free life by giving them

opportunity

Suggestion

the opportunity

an opportunity

to be fit by going to a gym or having a healthy

diet but

Accept comma addition

diet, but

most importantly there is no guarantee to be happy after having all

such

things. Recent researches have shown that more of mental health patient have stable background.

Hence

, it

is proves

Suggestion

proves

is proven

has proven

that

money

is not a symbol of

happiness

but contentment is. On the flip side,

happiness

is a general term which has different meanings for everyone.

Most happy

Suggestion

Happier

people are those who are content in their given circumstance,

although

they are striving for better lives, they don’t blame anyone for their failures.

Moreover

, those who cut their clothes according to need and save something for

rainy day

Suggestion

a rainy day

the rainy day

rainy days

will never be disappointed or dissatisfied

Suggestion

with

their lives. In conclusion, it is right to say that life without

money

is not

easy but

Accept comma addition

easy, but

happiness

of human beings

not solely depends

Suggestion

doesn't solely depend

on it. There are other factors

such

as contentment and right

judgment especially

Accept comma addition

judgment, especially

utilization of available resources which makes people more satisfied.

Submitted by umemarafaqat on Mon Nov 25 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Supermarkets shoul only sell food produced within their own country. What are your opinions about it.

Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Disucss both these views and give your opinion.

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future.