Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion?

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The issue of whether or not junk

food

Use synonyms

companies should be allowed to publicize has sparked a heated debate. In my opinion, the advertisements which are detrimental to the society should be discouraged.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some people think all the manufacturing units should be provided with equal opportunity to publish their ads to stay aligned with the growing competition. They often argue that all

that is

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advertised is not purchased, so it is the dire responsibility of parents to buy quality

food

Use synonyms

for their children and not allow them to purchase any unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

Besides

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, parents should educate their youngsters about the consequences of junk

food

Use synonyms

and the dreadful diseases associated with them. Children these days are not only attracted to adverts

instead

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the stalls and various outlets

Suggestion

the public places creates

urge

Suggestion

the urge

an urge

to buy them.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it creates a negative impact on the society.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the companies hire famous artists and celebrities as their brand ambassadors, which attract various customers, forcing them to acquire the products which they do not need.

This

Linking Words

in turn succumbs them to opt for

unhygienic

Suggestion

food

Use synonyms

items and after consuming leads to serious health conditions. The commercials are so alluring that they leave an image on the viewer’s mind and while shopping, they tend to select the items which are unhealthy.

Moreover

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, the recipe and the various items used in making junk

Use synonyms

food though

Accept comma addition

food, though

are harmful; it makes people crave for them which deteriorate their health. Because of

this

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, people lose their serenity and money spending it to cure the diseases attained from these dreadful products.

Therefore

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, seen in

this

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light, it is evident that the advertisements play a vital role in changing one’s

food

Use synonyms

habits. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the advertisements are so attractive, I believe the commercials which are

orrendous

causing fear or dread or terror

horrendous

should not be allowed to publish for the welfare of the individuals.

moinuddinsyed16Tue Nov 26 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?