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Band 4.5

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
When people attain the retirement
age
, it
is often believe
Suggestion
is often believed
 that they should give up
work
.
This
 essay
stronly
with strength or in a strong manner
strongly
 agrees with the opinion because
old
Suggestion
older
 adults may not be totally efficient at
work
 due to health related problems that accompany old
age
.
In addition
, their continuous employment will inadvertently increase the population of unemployed youth.
Although
 old employees have
wealth
Suggestion
a wealth
 of experience in their various
field
Suggestion
fields
, they should stop working once they reach the retirement
age
 because they may not be fit to cope with the workload anymore unlike when they were still young.
Consequently
,
this
 will reduce their output at
work
, they will often have to be on sick leave most of the time, and
as a result
 the slowing down activities at
work
 because most of them are in managerial positions in which they are needed to sign documents or make a decision.
For example
, Health issues like Diabetes, Hypertension
,
Accept space
,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
have been reported
Suggestion
has been reported
 to be common among these
set
Suggestion
sets
 of people.
Moreover
, the rate of unemployed youth in the society will consistently increase if those that are meant to retire from
work
 do not stop working. Positions held by these people will not be
vacant
Suggestion
vacated
 and the junior staff's promotion will be
dalayed
not as far along as normal in development
delayed
deployed
, thereby not permitting the recruitment of new employees
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion, people should stop working as soon as they reach retirement
age
 because of health problems of old
age
 among
retirees which
Accept comma addition
retirees, which
 will reduce their productivity at
work
, and
also
 to create vacancy for young people to be recruited.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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