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Studies suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

#studies #children #television #time #measures
As per
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent studies, today's
children
 are spending most of their time watching television than
earlier
Change preposition
in earlier
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 times rather than engaging in various activities that are creative.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why
this
 is happening and put forward several solutions to motivate them to spend more time on active sports or games.
Firstly
, the advent of cartoon channels.
In other words
, since the booming of technology, various television companies launched a plethora of cartoon network
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
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 for infants
as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adolescents.
Consequently
, they
lured
Add a missing verb
are lured
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 to watch
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 type of programs that are alluring for them.
Furthermore
, in between the programs, they show a myriad of advertisements that are indulged to
children
.
As a result
, they compelled their parents to buy that product.
Secondly
, nowadays, there is a lack of relationship between neighbours and relatives. In detail, everyone is living in a busy world and striving for their daily bread, because, it is very difficult to get a good job now. Meanwhile, they do not have enough time to socialise.
This
 adversely affects the
children
's social behaviour too. We can overcome
this
 with some precautions. Teachers and parents should inculcate their wards about the necessity of physical education.
Moreover
, the government should take adequate action against
this
. So
this
 way, we can encourage their creativity and fitness. In conclusion, Despite the excess of television programs and the lack of social interactions
predisposed
Wrong verb form
predisposing
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children
from
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to
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 outdoor activities, the government, teachers and their guardians can do something for them to engage in sports and games.
Submitted by jerrys7474 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Some ideas are developed with supporting details, but others could be further expanded.
task achievement
The essay addresses the reasons why children watch more television and spend less time on active or creative activities. It also suggests measures to encourage children to engage in more active pursuits. More specific examples and a deeper analysis of the solutions would strengthen the response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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