IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some parents think its good to have their children mobile phones, others disagree? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phones
Although
 the myriad of people think that cell phones should be provided to children, but others think it is of no use. As per my opinion, parents should not give mobile phones to their kids.
This
 leads to addiction and wrong usage.
This
 can be explained by numerous factors. On the one hand, parents can not go at every step along with their children. They believe that if kids have cell phones, they can make a call in case of any danger or in an emergency. Nowadays, mostly both parents are working and they are in habit to talk with their young ones at least twice a day.
For instance
, as per a recent survey, 80% working parents have provided mobile device to their kids to ask about their well wishes. For them,
this
 is the best mode of communication.
On the other hand
, parents believe that cellular phones are the victim to expose kids in socializing web sites. These websites are responsible for indulging bad habits in younger ones in terms of bullying, delinquency and truancy.
Besides
, children play various kinds of games on it. It has an adverse effect on their health. Along with
this
, they do not spend much time on study. They shirk to read the books. To conclude with, while people have various opinions. In my opinion, parents ought to not be given cell device to children. Having
this
 device, not only expose them into social sites, but
also
 responsible for jumping into bad habits. Communication in emergencies has been taking care of school and teachers. So, parents should give space to kids to grow and develop.
Submitted by preeti.mittal06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: