With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

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With the advancement in social media, there is an increase in the number of young people having access to the internet with no adult supervision.
This
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may lead to the possibility of dangerous
situations
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occurring. In
this
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essay, I will be presenting solutions to deal with
this
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problem.
Firstly
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,
children
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should not be allowed to have a
phone
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at
such
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a young age.
Parents
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should observe their
children
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and decide when they are mature enough to obtain a mobile
device
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. The absence of a mobile
device
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eliminates the prospect of
children
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putting themselves in dangerous
situations
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with the use of social media.
However
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, if
children
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do own a
phone
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,
parents
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should set restrictions on certain internet access and monitor their
children
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's
device
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activity to ensure that they are not participating in harmful activities.
In addition
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,
parents
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could install location-tracking apps on their
child’s
Fix the agreement mistake
children’s
show examples
devices so that they are always aware of their
children
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’s whereabouts.
This
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reduces the likelihood of
children
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going to locations that
parents
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may disagree with.
Moreover
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, the establishment of a good parent-child relationship is crucial to ensuring the safety of
children
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. With a good relationship,
children
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are more likely to inform their
parents
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of their plans and location which ensures that
children
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are safe. In conclusion, to prevent dangerous
situations
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from occurring,
parents
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could delay the purchase of a mobile
device
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for their child. If
children
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already own a
phone
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,
parents
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could control the activity on their
child’s
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children’s
show examples
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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, reducing the potential for dangerous
situations
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to happen.
Submitted by d.adeliasong on

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task achievement
Elaborate more on each solution and provide additional examples to enhance clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing the points more logically and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main issue and solutions.
task achievement
The essay identifies relevant solutions directly related to the problem mentioned.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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