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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#children #computers #age #hours
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Nowadays children have become extremely exposed to computers.
To
Suggestion
For
 some individuals it has benefits while some advocate it has
detrimental impact
Suggestion
a detrimental impact
 on children. The view that I tend towards,
Linking Words
however is
Accept comma addition
however, is
 that there are several disadvantages than advantages of computers.
To begin
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 with, because of improvements of
technology there
Accept comma addition
technology, there
 are fundamental benefits of computers
on
Suggestion
for
 children. It is clearly observed that children can obtain plenty of beneficial information on their studies. To illustrate,
youngesters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
 who spend a lot of time
in
Suggestion
on
with
 computers can achieve better consequences on education in order to search any topic which they do not understand in class.
However
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, in spite of
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 of computers there are
also
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 clearly drawbacks that children are prone to.
Firstly
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, it is inevitable that computers can be
addictuve
causing or characterized by addiction
addictive
additive
.
In addition
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, children spend long hours on screen and it can cause serious problems
on
Suggestion
with
 their health. A striking example is that, if many children waste their time on playing video games each day, they will struggle with lack of concentration on studies.
Secondly
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, another main issue concerned is health problems.
Therefore
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, durable sitting habits lead to eyesight problems as well as obesity.
Consequently
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,
childreb
a young person of either sex
children
 should strive
being
Suggestion
to be
 gregarious and outgoing. To conclude, it seems to me that
drawbacks
Suggestion
the drawbacks
 of computers are more principal
such
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 as lack of
concentraction
the strength of a solution; number of molecules of a substance in a given volume
concentration
 and health issues.
Submitted by bilalzades on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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