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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Competitiveness amoung high school students should be encouraged. Do you agree or disagree?

#competitiveness #amoung #school #students
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Competitiveness is one of the common factors to boost someone's productivity. The competitiveness among
students
Use synonyms
 can be encouraged or discouraged depending on the situation and the outcome. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both scenarios on
this
Linking Words
 serious matter. School
students
Use synonyms
 should be motivated to compete with other
students
Use synonyms
 so that they can take it as a challenge resulting
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 improvement in the performance of an individual throughout a calendar year. With the help of
this
Linking Words
 sort of environment, A school can prosper with their
students
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, In third world countries
competition
Use synonyms
 between
students
Use synonyms
 and professionals
gets
Verb problem
is
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 because of their great
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in terms of increase in productivity and motivation of an individual. If too much importance
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 given to the competing environment
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it might lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
suicide
Fix the agreement mistake
suicides
show examples
 of an individual. With the introduction of competing
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any sector, A person can have a desire to take his own life after
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 that
competition
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, In
first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
show examples
 countries, In many schools, positioning criteria in an exam
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been discontinued to limit the
competition
Use synonyms
 concept which was leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suicide, depression and other illness.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Competition
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged which leads to greater results in any walk of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
However
Linking Words
, It
is completely depends
Change the verb form
completely depends
show examples
 on the person or organization
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 they take it positively or negatively like to increase the productivity,
motivation
Correct word choice
and motivation
show examples
 of a person or to
pressurize
Verb problem
pressure
show examples
 someone too much leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression or other
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
.
Submitted by danish-madni on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • competitiveness
  • motivate
  • academic results
  • essential skills
  • time management
  • discipline
  • goal setting
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • outperform
  • real world
  • resilience
  • dealing with failure
  • life skills
What to do next:
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