Many people believe that money is a good gift for a teenager while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenager

Plenty of people consider the best present for teens should be in monetary

value

Accept comma addition

value, although

although

, others think contrarily. Even though

money

given to youngsters could be used to buy things that

otherwise

will be difficult to buy, I believe

money

could be used for illegal activities by kids. One the one hand,

money

helps teens to buy commodities they like. At

such

a young age young person

do not have

Suggestion

does not have

much

cash

, which can

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their desires and gift of

cash

from parents can make their wishes true.

This

is because at

such

early age teenagers do not do any kind of work they only concentrate on their studies.

For instance

, kids can use funds received from parents to purchase the play

station which

Accept comma addition

station, which

could be very expensive for themselves.

On the other hand

, the

cash

received from parents can be used in criminal undertakings.

This

is to say that if teens have the

cash

, they have the freedom to use it anywhere they are interested in. Some youngsters could use finances to buy drugs or other banned substances by seeing other narcotics addicts or maybe falling prey to some offenders.

This

can cause some serious repercussions for them and their families

also

For example

, many young kids are becoming the drug addicts in the US because they have the liberty to spend

money

. To conclude, people point of view that teens should receive

cash

presents from their parents seems totally absurd and other people’s disagreement with it seems justifiable due to its detrimental consequences. In my

opinion

Accept comma addition

opinion, such

such

cash

gifts could make them

victim

Suggestion

a victim

of criminal predators.

Fri Nov 29 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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