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Band 4

Both the rich and the poor find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#accessibility #university
These days, irrespective of financial disparity in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, many
students
 are ambitious
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
persuing
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
. It is
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 often argued by many people that there is no discrimination on the basis of
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 status of a person when it comes to accessibility to various graduation courses offered at different Universities.
This
 essay will argue and present some facts showing that in reality, there is more probability for a wealthy student to get easily enrolled for higher studies compared to a poor child.
Firstly
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of
resouses
Correct your spelling
resources
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a child from a poor family is less. As there is a tough competition to get through
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
 exam successfully, one
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to have proper training and
education
 on how to prepare and study for these examinations.
This
 can be achieved by attending coaching
claases
Correct your spelling
classes
clauses
 and going through literature that focuses on
exam specific
Add a hyphen
exam-specific
show examples
 topics. Since
students
 from
not soo well to do
Verb problem
not-so-well-to-do
show examples
 families find it difficult to get an advantage of these facilities, they lack basic skills to compete with those
students
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 taken up
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 study materials readily available from these sources.To illustrate, an educational research journal from New Delhi recently
puplished
Correct your spelling
published
 an article stating
students
 who attended coaching classes performed 80% better compared to those who
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 in
IIT
Correct article usage
the IIT
show examples
 examination.Eventually, kids from poor families
performs
Change the verb form
perform
show examples
 below average in
such
 exams and can not enter into the desired course.
Secondly
, it is a very common practice at many universities that there is a reserved
quota
 for financially rich people.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
those
Correct word choice
that those
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 who can afford higher
education
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 and
along with
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 who can give donations to the university,
such
students
 can get enrolled via a VIP
quota
. It is
commolnly
Correct your spelling
commonly
 observed that to get enrolled via VIP
quota
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no criteria of
score
Add an article
the score
show examples
 achieved in the entrance examinations. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example,
recently
Correct article usage
a recently
show examples
puplished
Correct your spelling
published
 advertisement in a local newspaper stated that at Symbiosis International University, for
MBA
Correct article usage
an MBA
show examples
 2 years course, 10 out of 60 seats are reserved for
VIP
Correct article usage
the VIP
show examples
quota
.
This
 explains that universities themselves
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
show examples
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of money over intelligence.
To conclude
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 evident that there is definitely less accessibility for
students
 from economically backward
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 to higher
education
.
Availability
Correct article usage
The availability
show examples
 of crucial resources and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
affordability to pay extra
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 graduation studies easier for
rich class
Add a hyphen
rich-class
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
 without
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 roadblocks.
Submitted by veda11.raut on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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