IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Digital communication technology, such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#communication #technology #email #instant #media #connections #people
It is indeed true that in the modern era of technology nowadays people easily interact with people through email, messages and social apps. I strongly agree with
this
 viewpoint and it can be
discussed in the
Suggestion
discussed further in the
further
 paragraph. Focusing on communication, people use social media to interact with others rather than face to face conversation because of the advancement of technology the conversation becomes faster than ancient times,
for instance
, people get crucial information through the email, YouTube etc.
Secondly
, many people choose to connect with social media to eradicate of their loneliness and they chat with their social friends,
for example
, 73%, of people have their account on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter because of that they interact with the people who even don't know them
then
 they start chatting with each other and
then
 become
good friend
Suggestion
good friends
a good friend
.
In addition
,
Accept space
,
 at present people have a haptic schedule that's why they don't have that much time to meet their relatives so they used the
whats
Suggestion
what's
 app, Facebook to join with each other and easily communicate with each other. To add another reason, layman fewer efforts to touch with their close ones, they don't need to be met every day,
such
 as many relationships
start
Suggestion
starts
 on Facebook both people belongs from different countries and understand one another through the cyber network.
Moreover
, easily sold the products on an international
level which
Accept comma addition
level, which
 expand their business, in
this
 case,
levis
Suggestion
the leaves
leaves
 expand their business through the Flipkart, Amazon etc. To conclude and it can be eventually started that because of lack of time and advancements of technology
people mostly
Accept comma addition
people, mostly
 prefer to use social media to connect with each other.
Submitted by meetp4668 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: