IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children are given too much free time.They feel that this time should be used to do more school time. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #time #school
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The raising children, isn’t
vital issue
Suggestion
a vital issue
 for everyone, right? Each
parents
Suggestion
parent
 even non-parents have idea about raising children.
However
Linking Words
, they
missing
Suggestion
are missing
miss
 one point about
this
Linking Words
 subject.The
child
Use synonyms
 is not
a
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
 your project. If you want to be succeed as a
parents you
Suggestion
parent, you
parent you
 should keep following the specialist relevant childhood. As
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
told
being the one previously mentioned or spoken of
said
 already, each
child
Use synonyms
 is an individual. When they are becoming a good person, you could arrange the
time
Use synonyms
 for them. The parents divided in two groups for planing
time
Use synonyms
. One side says, after the school or
course
events that provide the generative force that is the origin of something
cause
 the
child
Use synonyms
 must remain doing
homework
Use synonyms
. After if they finished more early their
homework
Use synonyms
, they have chance for improving their grade.
Linking Words
Thus after
Accept comma addition
Thus, after
break
Suggestion
the break
 for
short
Suggestion
a short time
the short time
time
Use synonyms
 they can make more self-study. Frankly, the
child
Use synonyms
 specialist don’t support
this
Linking Words
 attitude. All
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
children
 have
to
being one more than one
two
lives their
Accept comma addition
lives, their
 childhood, they
says
Suggestion
say
. In
recently
Suggestion
recent
 research says, developing
child
Use synonyms
’s brain the gaming
time
Use synonyms
 is significant against school age children. Over
homework
Use synonyms
 is not solution for
have
Suggestion
having
 a perfect school life. And the other side, other parents
are know
Suggestion
is knowing
knows
 free
time
Use synonyms
 how important for kids.
This
Linking Words
times
Suggestion
time
 if
could be assemble
Suggestion
could assemble
 with art or sport, it will become brain exercise.
This
Linking Words
 meaning they can
improving
Suggestion
improve
 their imagination with music, cinema or soccer.
Recently
Suggestion
Recent
 research says,
Linking Words
last century
Suggestion
the last century
 has brilliant individual.
This
Linking Words
individuals
Suggestion
individual
are
Suggestion
is
 special because they are really successful
at
Suggestion
in
 their academic life.
Linking Words
However they
Accept comma addition
However, they
 can
also
Linking Words
 sign song, playing football or playing piano. We can see clearly the
different
Suggestion
difference
 with two sides. More and more
homework
Use synonyms
 just
gettin
Suggestion
 be more annoying. Even
therefore
Linking Words
 reason, they won’t be happy in their academic life. We need
to encourages
Suggestion
to encourage
 our children. If they have an enough free
time
Use synonyms
 for find and fun their
ability they
Accept comma addition
ability, they
 might be
next
Linking Words
 brilliant children in
this
Linking Words
 century.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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