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The chart gives us information about the physical activity done by Austrailian men and women

The chart gives us information about the physical activity done by Austrailian men and women
#information #activity #austrailian #men #women
The chart gives us information about the physical
activity
 done by
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australian
men
 and
women
 of various
age
 groups in 2010.
Overall
,
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australian
men
 when they are young(ages 15-24) are more regular in physical
activity
 and the Australian
women
 who are in their late forties and early fifties (ages 45 to 54) are regular in physical
activity
.
Whereas
, the percentage of Australian
men
 and
women
 in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 25 to 34 and 65 and over respectively were the least in regular physical activities.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 we can see that
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 percentage of
women’s
Change noun form
women
show examples
 doing physical
activity
 is higher than that of males. We can segregate
this
 graph
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three sections Above 50%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 , Between 40% to 50%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 and below 40%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 doing regular physical activities. So for the section of above 50% of
people
 doing
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
activity
Add a comma
,activity
show examples
 we can clearly see that
women’s
Change noun form
women
show examples
 from 3
age
 groups (35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64) have surpassed with 52.5%, 53.3% and 53% respectively working out regularly.
On the contrary
 males from only one
age
group
that is
 15 to 24 have surpassed it with 52.8% of them doing regular workouts. The
second
 segregation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was for
people
 lying between 40% to 50% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 doing physical
activity
, The male members of the society have taken over with 4
age
 groups(25 to 34, 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and 65 and over) with 42.2%, 43.1%, 45.1% and 46.7% respectively doing regular fitness activities.
Whereas
 only
women
 who were 65 and over fall under
this
 category with 47.1% of them doing workouts. The
last
 segregation was for
below
Correct pronoun usage
those below
show examples
 40% where only one male
age
group
 was confined.
Austrailain
Correct your spelling
Australian
men
 from
35years
Correct your spelling
35 years
to 44 years were a little below 40% which made them fall in
this
 category. Only 39.5% of
auustralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
men
 from the above
age
group
 fall under
this
 category.
Submitted by sankalprajsrivastava on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, whereas".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activity, men, women, age, group, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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