An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in term of their health and healthcare. What do you think why so many children are overweight. What is to be done to solve this problem

In
this
era, one of the major concerns is about
overweight
Suggestion
an overweight
,
this
is because of their dietary habits as well as due to
neglection
of outdoor activities
by
Suggestion
with
them.
Therefore
, I will discuss
this
issue to demonstrate helpful steps to reduce obesity. It can be easily seen that nowadays a significant proportion of teenagers who consume junk
food
are suffering from the problem of overweight.
This
is mostly due to the rapid transition from wholesome traditional
food
to fast
food
.
Although
,
western meal
Suggestion
a western meal
provides a variety of stuff to children,
however it
Accept comma addition
however, it
consists of
high amount
Suggestion
a high amount
high amounts
the high amount
of sugar, salt, and saturated fat, which causes overweight issues to daily consumers. To get out of
this
type of physical problem, they should take home made
food
in a balance amount.
Moreover
, parents should encourage their children to participate in
games
Suggestion
the games
in order to remain fit and protected against chronic illness related diseases. In conclusion, I would say that traditional diet should be taken by youngsters rather than fast
food
and taking part in cultural and sports activities
is
Suggestion
are
lucrative in order to enhance stamina and reduce obesity.
Submitted by karangrewal87288 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: