IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally believed that, many people tend to run their own business
instead
Linking Words
 of working for as an employee. In my opinion, most of the people are dislike to be managed.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse why people prefer their entrepreneurship and the main downside of self-employed. People always dream of having an appropriate occupation for themselves.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, one of the most prerequisites for obtaining an esteemed organization or well-paid job is high-education background and year of work experience so they are so time-constraint.
Second
Linking Words
, the younger desire to become rich in order to have a convenient
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 in a short-period since some of jobs bring about noticeable profit for
employer
Suggestion
the employer
. There is some drawback of running own business.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, entrepreneur
need
Suggestion
needs
 a considerable money for the initial investment,
such
Linking Words
 as rent a premises, hire staffs, technicians and advertising that plays vital role in every company.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are a lot of economic problems
such
Linking Words
 as economic depression, economic crisis, sanction that give rise to most of them go bankrupt after establishment. In conclusion, people
will to be
Suggestion
will be
 self-employed since not only can they have a prestigious job, but
also
Linking Words
 they can make a lot of money in a short-time.
Although
Linking Words
, some difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as losing a job may come up.
Submitted by safahs1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: