IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #center #mall #development
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The
world is chancing always
Suggestion
world is always changing
world is changing always
.When we are chancing
also
Linking Words
 we are developing.
This
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 chancing has a some bad and good
sides
Suggestion
side
.
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However we
Accept comma addition
However, we
 have to
following
Suggestion
follow
 to
this
Linking Words
 new world. If we want to sustain our power. In
recently search
Suggestion
a recent search
recent search
 says, people mostly preferring shopping to big mall or on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
. But why? The retail sector relevant to advertisement and different options. If you are good at
this
Linking Words
 point, you can catch the chance developing your business. Just consider about the all
advertisement
Suggestion
advertisements
 which you
seen
Suggestion
have seen
saw
 in one day. They always encourage to buy something. But from where? Frankly, from malls.
For example
Linking Words
, if you need
to
Suggestion
for
 a sugar or a
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
. Which company name you remember instantly. Obviously the big and famous one. Because you can find whatever you need it.
This
Linking Words
 situation actually good for use. Because we could save time and money.
Linking Words
Therefore
Accept comma addition
Therefore, this
this
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 shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
first
Linking Words
 choice for the us. But the other side, the local shop
center
Suggestion
Center
have been doing
Suggestion
has been doing
this
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 occupation
from
Suggestion
for
 many years. But unfortunately they missed one and vital point. As I
told
being the one previously mentioned or spoken of
said
 before
this
Linking Words
 about different options and valuable price.
Linking Words
Therefore they
Accept comma addition
Therefore, they
 couldn’t keep the open to their business. If they want to turn their negative situation to positive
side they
Accept comma addition
side, they
 should deal with the big company. In conclusion, mall
instead
Linking Words
 of the local
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 is an importing developing. Nowadays, depend on
this
Linking Words
malls
Suggestion
mall's
 life getting
be
Suggestion
to be
effortlessly
Suggestion
effortless
 for new generation people. For examples, if you are mother and business woman and you have a restriction time for shopping, which side you do preferring? Even could be far obviously big mall
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
. Because of the different options.
Linking Words
Thus I
Accept comma addition
Thus, I
supporting
Suggestion
am supporting
support
this
Linking Words
 big
malls
Suggestion
mall
instead
Linking Words
 of the small ones.
Submitted by kubra--guran on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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