Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

No doubt, there are many problematic environments surrounding us which is really

need

Suggestion

needed

to be resolved immediately.A substantial number of people consider that, the drying out of many plants and animals is the momentous issue while others believe environmental problem is more significant.But people have strong feelings on their arguments.

However

, my opinion, both issues

are

Suggestion

serious these problems need to overcome urgently.Both

view point

Suggestion

viewpoints

viewpoint

will be discussed before doing a reasonable conclusion. On the one hand

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it is not deniable that, a large number of plants and animals are decreasing dramatically.

As a result

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not only wild animals losing their

homes but

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homes, but

also

losing the balance of the

environment

For example

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two kilometres away from my home, there

were

Suggestion

was

a large forest.As the population growth

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the trees were cut down and houses were built in that area.

Moreover

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people are cutting down trees

discriminately

Suggestion

discrimination

discriminatory

as a result

we are missing out various kinds of fruits.

Furthermore women

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Furthermore, women

earned money by selling those fruits but now they are deprived.

On the other hand

, there are many issues that people are concerned about it

such

as polluted

environment

and alteration of climate.

Moreover

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there are huge Industries around the city.

they

Suggestion

They

are discharged their chemicals into rivers.

As a result

the balance of the

environment

is hampered daily.It is undisputed that not only vehicles are responsible for pollution but

also

industries.

For instance

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a couple of decades ago

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there were no huge vehicles surrounding the

city but

Accept comma addition

city, but

now the situation has changed there are too many vehicles.

In addition

the greenhouse is again in question.In

this

situation the fatal disease

are affected

Suggestion

is affecting

is affected

has affected

affects

people

such

as cancer. To conclude

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in my point of view

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despite the main environmental problem but plants and animals aid to sustain the balance of the

environment

However

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the government should awarded about

this

issue.

Submitted by tarikullahkhan on Wed Dec 04 2019

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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