IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, pets are treated as family members and people spend a lot of money on them. What are the advantages (pros, benefits, positive aspects) and disadvantages (cons, negative aspects, drawbacks) of having a pet?

Internationally, domestic
animals
Use synonyms
 are considered to be part of
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
as a consequence
Linking Words
, pet owners spend a significant amount of their budget on them.
Although
Linking Words
 there are positive aspects of creating
animals
Use synonyms
 at home, a few drawbacks can be
metioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
. A first pro of having pets is improving mental health, since individuals commonly feel more comfortable
to express
Wrong verb form
expressing
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 love and care
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 than with humans,
consequently
Linking Words
seen in
Use the right word
seeing
show examples
 them
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
love
support
Correct word choice
and support
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.
For example
Linking Words
, statistics show that a representative number of
dogs
Fix the agreement mistake
dog
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 owners have deep conversations about feelings and issues with their
animals
Use synonyms
, and most of them described having an improvement in self-confidence after that.
Additionally
Linking Words
, pets force individuals to spend more time outdoors,
due to
Linking Words
 their basic
necessaries
Replace the word
necessities
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as well as
Linking Words
 natural energy, which leads to more active adults and children.
In contrast
Linking Words
, having
animals
Use synonyms
 can be expensive, especially because there is no health insurance or public hospitals available for them, which leads to costly bills
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 owners that need to pay for vaccines, medicines, and treatments.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a cat needed an appointment in Vancouver with a veterinarian,
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 owner would have to spend an average of $400 without considering extras,
price
Correct article usage
a price
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 unreasonable for most
canadians
Fix capitalization
Canadians
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 considering the minimum salary of $14/hour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, pets can be
carries
Use the right word
carriers
show examples
 of
bacterias
Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
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 and
virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
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 that are transmitted to humans, because of the direct and careless contact with nature,
as a result
Linking Words
, children, in
special
Correct word choice
particular
show examples
, can be constantly sick
while
Linking Words
 having
animals
Use synonyms
 inside their houses.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are both pros and cons of creating
animals
Use synonyms
 closely.
Since not
Change preposition
Not
show examples
 only do they generally improve mental health and
active
Replace the word
activity
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 rates, but
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
they also
show examples
also can
Correct word order
can also
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 negatively affect the family budget and bring more diseases to the most
vulnerables
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
.

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structure
Make a clear plan first. State your view in one line. Then have two to three short paragraphs that keep one idea each. End with a short wrap up.
coherence
Use more linking words to show compare and contrast. Words like but, and, also, but, however, so help the flow.
lexical
Keep language simple and correct. Check spellings and wrong word forms like ’canadians’ 'bacteria' and 'vulnerable'.
content
The essay tries to talk about both good and bad sides of pets.
content
Some examples are used to show the points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pet
  • family
  • home
  • love
  • care
  • money
  • time
  • walk
  • dog
  • cat
  • animal
  • friend
  • health
  • mood
  • happiness
  • routine
  • responsibility
  • child
  • learn
  • social
  • chat
  • vet
  • medicine
  • food
  • shelter
  • plan
  • budget
  • choice
  • grow
  • safe
  • risk
  • allergy
  • damage
  • debt
  • preparation
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