IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #opportunity
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Some people have a perspective that being rich has the opportunity to help
others but
Accept comma addition
others, but
 some contest
this
Linking Words
 claim. I strongly agree with
this
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 point that a wealthy person can support someone who is in need.
To begin
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 with, there are many youngsters in India who is not able to educate due to lack of money and
therefore
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, they have to indulge themselves in
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 work for their survival.
Affluent
Suggestion
The affluent
 can provide free education to children who are not able to educate because of money. They can even sponsor the
charity
Use synonyms
 show by appointing any celebrity. There are many rich people who involved themselves in
charity
Use synonyms
 work to help poor.
For instance
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, Nita Ambani who is famous for her
charity
Use synonyms
 works in India.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, prosperous man can help
Use synonyms
charity school
Suggestion
a charity school
 with study stuffs which basically help in educating children from the poor families. There is Being Human Foundation
charity
Use synonyms
 which is founded by Bollywood star Salman Khan that provides education and
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 services for the underprivileged in India.
Also
Linking Words
 the famous Indian businessman Mukesh Ambani launches Jio mobile network and phones at very cheap price,
as a
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result almost
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result, almost
 everyone in India is now able to browse
internet
Suggestion
the internet
. So
this
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 campaign
has proved
Suggestion
has proven
 successful to support
digitalization
conversion of analog information into digital information
digitization
digitalisation
digitisation
 in
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
. To conclude, there are many youngsters who want to get educated or wait for an opportunity to do something innovative but lack of resources they have to step back.
Affluent
Suggestion
The affluent
 can help them with the resources and provide opportunities
to
Suggestion
for
 talented people
Submitted by kirisiva14 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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