IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Your manager is surveying employees' opinions about commuting preferences. It is the company’s 10th year anniversary and your manager would like to offer a gift to all employees. She would like to know if the staff would prefer to receive a free underground parking pass for one year or a free public transit pass for one year.

#manager #employees #preferences #company’s #year #anniversary #offer #gift #staff #transit
Personally, I would like to have a one-year public
transit
 pass. Even though,
underground parking pass
Suggestion
the underground parking pass
 does sound like a great idea. I believe the
transit
 pass would be more useful for employees. The
First
 advantage of
transit
 pass is that it can be used on weekends,
This
 would help employees save a good amount of money. Yesterday, I had to go to
outlet mall
Suggestion
the outlet mall
an outlet mall
, which was 4 stops away from my home. I had to stand in a queue to purchase the
ticket than
Accept comma addition
ticket, then
ticket then
 look for the changes, It would have been a lot easier if I had the pass.
Secondly
, Most people use
transit
 to commute to work and will not make
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of sense if they are given parking pass.
Also
, I don't believe we have that many parking spots in our office building, so they might have to walk anyway. While
transit
 drops them right in from of the building. Considering these reasons I believe giving
transit
 pass is
better option
Suggestion
the better option
a better option
, Again, these are my personal belief and would support management with whatever they decide to do. I appreciate the opportunity to provide input on
this
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: