The growing number of overweight people is putting a stain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #stain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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The number of obese people is increasing day by day, which is leaving he

alth care system t

Suggestion

the health care system

o find a solution to tackle

this

Linking Words

serious problem. Many people believe that teaching children ab

out more physical e

Suggestion

more about physical

ducation at school is the best measure to overcome the issue.

This

Linking Words

essay totally agrees with the statement and will explain why. There are numerous ways how schools can educate students about physical education, but the most significant one is by educating them regarding nutrition. As many people eat food without knowing their body needs or requirements, creating awareness about nutrition would certainly help them to choose proper diet while eating. Not only

this

Linking Words

, but schools

also

Linking Words

ought to make children aware about the dire consequences of poor ea

ting which w

Accept comma addition

eating, which

ould eventually deter them eating unhealthy foods

such

Linking Words

as sugary, oi

ly a

Suggestion

oil

nd refined products. The other step schools can take is teaching the importance of physical activities or exercise to students. If schools would motivate children to take part in sports or other physical activities, they would be able to remain fit. In India,

for example

Linking Words

, all government schools have made sports subject compulsory where every student has to participate in a sport till their 10 class.

This

Linking Words

approach ,

Accept space

as a result

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, or

therefore

Linking Words

leads to a healthy li

fe style i

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

n children. In conclusion,

this

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essay has discussed the reasons why and how making physical education a part of school st

udies c

Suggestion

study

an help a nation to keep citizens he

athy.

having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease

healthy

In my views, the idea of introducing it is ideal as it would certainly encourage children to do exercise and eat healthy.

Submitted by gurdeepdhaliwal047 on Sun Dec 08 2019

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.