IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows how money was spent on differentforms of entertainment.

The graph below shows how money was spent on differentforms of entertainment.
#money #differentforms #entertainment
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The chart provides
the
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information about world-entertainment markets during the five years. As
it
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is shown
on
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in
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 the picture the United States are the chief contributor of media in the entertainment
in
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apply
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the
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world. In 2000 the volume of television, publishing and music doubled, remaining the US on the top of the list with 257
billion
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dollars
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 spent. Asia and Europe demonstrated almost the same results in 1995 and 2000.They have
similar
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a similar
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tendency
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tendencies
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 in television and publishing -
Correct article usage
an upwarding
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upwarding
Correct your spelling
upward
upwards
 trend is reflected. Approximately 50
billion
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dollars
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 for tv for both and 60
billion
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dollars
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 and 40
billion
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dollars
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 for music
consequently
Linking Words
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the US citizens spent 2,5 times more money
for
Change preposition
on
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 amusement

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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