IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The qualities that a truly successful person in our modern life has cannot be learned at universities and similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree?

#qualities #person #life #universities #institutions
Higher educational departments do not educate masses about the positive aspects of a personality, which is required to achieve success in the life. In my opinion, I do not agree with
this
 view because these institutes definitely plays a crucial role in building the positive character of a person. In the following paragraphs, I shall
putforth
Suggestion
put forth
 some arguments to support my view. One of the main reasons why schools are essential to learn about the ways to achieve the prosperity is that they provide
deep understanding
Suggestion
a deep understanding
 about the discipline. As a matter of fact, it is a main property of any successful individual.
For example
, in one of the interview given by Doanld trump to BBC news, he gave all credit of his success to his previous schools, which have taught him the importance of the discipline.
Thus
, more would be a person disciplined, more would be the chances to utilize his potentials. Another obvious reason is that the pupils learn about the value of time during their education.
Infact
Suggestion
In fact
, they start to know that the time is equal to the money so it should not be wasted at any cost.
For
instance if
Accept comma addition
instance, if
 they continue to dedicate their hours of the day to complete a specific task, they will achieve their goals one day
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
, individuals become aware of the spirit of
compitition
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competition
competitions
 as well as hardworking, which is indispensable to gain new heights in any field.
Therefore
, only those people gain the top positions who compete with others by pushing themselves. In conclusion,
although
 some
massess
a state of confusion and disorderliness
messes
 argue that the basics to
recieve
get something; come into possession of
receive
acclodes
a tangible symbol signifying approval or distinction
accolades
can not
can not
cannot
 be learned at prestigious schools, I believe that the importance of
these
denotes a person or thing
this
can not
can not
cannot
 be ruled out.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: