MANY PEOPLE WORK LONG HOURS, LEAVING VERY LITTLE TIME FOR LEISURE ACTIVITIES. DOES THIS SITUATION HAVE MORE ADVANTAGES OR MORE DISADVANTAGES?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

Nowadays there is an increasing number of people who dedicate a huge amount of their lives working for extended periods, leading to almost no time left for enjoyment. I strongly believe

such

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

brings more disadvantages than benefits, due to health and family issues that could emerge from

this

. One of the main reasons I advocate people should not work for long hours is the increased likelihood of becoming stressed to a point their intellectual performance could be affected. The lack of free time leads to a routine that has no room for leisure activities, which are essential for a healthy mind.

For example

, workers

Suggestion

the stock market are usually always connected and following the news, even on weekends, so that they can rapidly act to adjust their stock portfolio.

As a result

, they cannot relax and will probably face severe health consequences in the near future.

Moreover

, those who are employed in careers that demand longer than usual shifts will usually affect their offsprings as well.

This

is because most children spend the majority of their day at school, and only have weekends to share moments with their relatives. If parents spend an excessive

number

Suggestion

amount

of hours in the office, these youngsters will grow up without many family memories.

However

, it is important to acknowledge those who work harder than usual are

also

more likely to save money and to provide better opportunities to their children,

such

as being able to afford expensive

universities’

Suggestion

university

tuitions to them. In conclusion, even though working extra hours could lead to better financial income, and its benefits, for the family, I firmly support that workers should avoid

such

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

due to its drawbacks,

such

as potential health issues and emotional damage that could be caused to their loved ones.

Submitted by juliano.rossi on Sun Dec 08 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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MANY PEOPLE WORK LONG HOURS, LEAVING VERY LITTLE TIME FOR LEISURE ACTIVITIES. DOES THIS SITUATION HAVE MORE ADVANTAGES OR MORE DISADVANTAGES?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

in spite of the advances made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?