IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that it is more important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
In recent times,
work
-life balance is a growing concern among the people. Some say that a person should spend more
time
 at
work
 in developing a successful career while others argue that it is crucial to spend
time
 with family and friends.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide evidence as to why spending
time
 with family and friends is superior. Nowadays, many people spend more than 10 hours in their workplace which will make them more stressful.
This
 is because some people think that the
time
 spent at
work
 contributes towards their successful career.
For instance
, a recent survey shows that more that 80% of the working population
work
 at least 13 hours a day.
Therefore
, it is advisable that a person should
work
 only for 8 hours a day.
On the contrary
, spending
time
 with family and friends reduces the stress which will improve the mental health of a person.
For example
, a study shows that 50% of software engineers suffer from depression.
Thus
, having a proper
work
-life balance reduces stress and helps having a better mental health. In conclusion, though it is important to spend
time
 in developing a successful career, in my opinion, It is more crucial to spend
time
 with family and friends as it helps to lead a healthy and happy life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: