IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people choose private health care centers rather than public service centers what is your opinion?

#people #health #care #centers #service
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Nowadays, a great number of people prefer to use private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 rather than using public
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
. They think these places provide an excellent service for patients. In my view, private places are better than public treatment
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
. I will support my opinion with some examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 have a wide range of
best equipment
Suggestion
the best equipment
. These places give patients medical services which are not available in
public hospital
Suggestion
a public hospital
public hospitals
the public hospital
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some private treatment
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 have a device that take
color
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
 photos from each part of
body
Suggestion
the body
. As a consequence, for the majority of people going to these places is more convenient due to
latest devices
Suggestion
the latest devices
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people tend to choose private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 because they can choose their rooms.
For example
Linking Words
, when people are in private
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, they can have a comfortable room with special services. Patients can have a private nurse who cares about them all day.
As a result
Linking Words
, private
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 are built to provide people a comfortable place. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 public
health
Use synonyms
 services
is
Suggestion
are
 inexpensive, I prefer to choose
private
Suggestion
a private health care centre
private health care centre
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 center. As I mentioned above private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 give people
best
Suggestion
better
 service and
also
Linking Words
 pensions can have the room that they want to be treated.
Submitted by pa.atash68 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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