IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #host #event #events
Sports flourishes when combined with competition, unfortunately competition has its own share of pros and cons.
Although
, there are many successful international sporting events, but there are various problems we have to address with it. In my opinion, I feel the benefits outweighs the problems. Since colonial times, sports have been the one, that treats oppressors and
opressee
burdened psychologically or mentally
oppressed
 equally on the field. International sports boost empathy, generates respect and helps us to connect with people from various parts of the world. Concurrently, it
also
 helps to boost tourism in the hosting country, symbolises amity and broadens our parochial views about various countries.
For instance
, the commonwealth games are played by all the countries who were once ruled, boosting the confidence of the once oppressed.
Similarly
, Olympic games provide a benchmark for a sport person, by respecting him at international level. But as every coin has
to
being one more than one
two
 sides, international sports
also
 has its own dark side. Evidently, people have tried to cheat the international sports just for the prize by doping and drugging, eventually, tainting their name.
Also
 with increased tourism during the international sporting events many unwanted factors
such
 as prostitution, littering, government property damages have been witnessed. International sports have
also
 been the reason of governments overspending,
for example
, various countries have spent millions of dollars to make the country look better, which could have been put to better use. We have
also
 examples, wherein due to lax security athletes have been hurt or been infected due to improper sanitation. In conclusion, I would like to say yes, there are problems faced when international sports are organized, but all could be handled by proper management and guidelines, but we
also
 must remember, it's
also
 the ray hope, that help so many people change their lives.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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